new...

its been a month now. probably. this one is definitely different and confusing. some days are very good. other days i second guess everything. i just realized how much of an over analyzer i am. and how paranoid i get. especially when it comes to guys. i've been talking 2 this guy for probably about a month now. not many people know about him yet cuz i myself dont even know what direction it's heading in. and i won't tell anyone about it until i know more. this blog is a way for me to express myself. not many people know about this. and i tend 2 keep it that way. i tend 2 express my feelings on here a lot. when somethings on my mind, or i'm upset about something, this is where i go. anyway. when i say it's confusing it's because it is. i really don't know what 2 expect from this one. and he really is different. i think we actually talked for a few weeks before we even went on our first date. and the first date was pretty fun. we got 2 know each other a lot. its crazy, bc he tends to ask me a lot of personal questions. very detailed questions. and since i dont know him as well as i want to, i tend to hold a lot of things back. and some of his questions really catch my off guard so i never know what to say. after our first date we continued to talk for a while. and had our second date on friday. it went well. we don't get 2 see each other as much as we both want because we both have crazy schedules. him especially. and what else is different from him? he doesn't text. ever. thank god! i hate it when guys just text me non stop. this one will actually pick up the phone and call me. usually every day. or every night i should say. i never hear from him during the day. which makes me wonder. he tells me, u dont have 2 worry and just because u dont hear from me, doesn't mean i'm not thinking about u. u know, the usual thing u hear. he's also different because I'M actually the one who hollered at him first, he calls me, but i actually called him after our first date, and call him every now and then. something that i would never typically do. ever. i dont call guys. i dont like to. i believe that's their job. anyway, this guy really makes me think. he's told me plenty of times how much he's really into me. i mean, REALLY into me. i've told him how i felt. not entirely. bc once again, i'm not ready 2 let him completely in. but whatever i tell him, it sounds like it's not the answer he's looking for. he asked me what we were. what are we? i told him, we're "talking". that's my term for it. mainly cuz i don't like using the term "dating". it's too general. theres only two things in my book. talking, and in a relationship. and we're talking. a lot. i'm actually surprised that it's gone on for this long. but anyway, i don't think he likes that "label". but that's all i can give him for now. because i dont know. its only been a month. i can't determine anything after 2 dates. of course i would want it to go further and hopefully lead to something more serious. but only time can tell. and im just going w/ the flow for now. but there are moments where i don't hear from him and i question things. u cant build trust if the person doesn't give u something to work with. things like, not hearing from him, or saying hes gonna call me, but doesnt til two days later. what am i supposed 2 think about that? i usually let the little things slide bc it's too early 4 me to fuss over the little stuff. good thing he's not into the whole social networking crap. or not that i know of at least. that's another plus too. i dont wanna have 2 worry about. we all know facebook and myspace ruins lives. to be continued...