annoyed

i think fb needs an area so you can write blogs. like how myspace used to. i'm not sure if that's what that note area is for. major headline today. kim kardashian divorces her husband after 72 hours. this bs is getting on my dam nerves. i'm sick and tired of hearing it. every website that i try to go to, this is on the front page. yet no one is saying anything about the 5 yr old girl in glendale that's been missing for 3 weeks, or the 6.0 earthquake that happened in china, or the cop that got shot and killed in glendale this past weekend.. yet when it comes to the kardashian bitches, people study them like it's the bible. its ridiculous. we live in a sad society. it's hard to teach your children morals when you're out there idolizing the kardashians, or idiots like jersey shore. what makes it worst, is that they're making millions for being fucking idiots. my children would be banned from watching this garbage. on another note, i have to be out of my apartment in 30 days. i'm starting to pack slowly, and i started today. i got kinda sad, because i've had so many memories here. it's exciting moving to a new place, but sad to leave the old one behind. there's so much going on within the next few months. it's exciting but so scary at the same time. there's so much change. im moving in 30 days, and me and my sister are graduating in december. ive waited so long for this moment to come. it almost feels surreal. i'm almost afraid that something bad is going to happen that will prevent me from reaching graduation. but in reality, ive finished three of my classes in this semester with all A's. and am one class away from graduating. i currently have a B in the class with 2 assignments to go in it. it's been making me nervous because i've been doing horribly on the exams but amazing on everything else. i'm aiming for an A so i can get straight A's on my very last semester. i'm proud of myself for doing this well so far, because i've never done this well in school in my entire life. ever. i hope my family's proud of me. anyway, ive been thinking a lot about how hard it is to meet someone. i haven't really been with someone for so long. i honestly don't even know how i'd handle it anymore. ive been on my own for so long i'm so used to it. i have friends who see their boyfriends every single day and do almost everything with their boyfriend. and i dont know if i could do that. maybe i'm just not that type of girl. i definitely used to be. but now that i've been on my own for so long, i feel like i need my space. i dont think i could stand having a guy spend 24/7 with me. i would want him to have his own life, his own friends, and i would have my life, and my friends. and we would see each other every now and then. i feel that being consumed with someone so much, if it didn't work out in the end, you'll never learn to be on your own because you've always depended on the other person and lived their life the entire time you were together. i learned that the hard way. don't get me wrong, i'm a hopeless romantic. im the type of girl who would bring him soup when he's sick, or bring him lunch at work, or stock his fridge with his favorite beer, u know, all the cheesy stuff. but deep down, spending every waking moment with him when we're not married kinda freaks me out. today, it seems like people get married after being with someone for about a year. is a year the new thing now? that's the time frame? i probably have food in my pantry older than that. i don't understand what the rush is. this is why divorce is so high. no one wants to take their time getting to know each other first. maybe it's just me because i'm old school. it's the same when it comes to cohabiting. im so against that after what i've been through. i can't imagine myself ever doing that again. i would have to be engaged or something that i knew was heading towards marriage. i understand cohabiting so you can get to know the person and see what it's like living with them. but that's why u spend weekends with them, or a few days. not every single day. cohabiting leads to being comfortable with each other, and i feel that you lose that spark. u know, things that u used to do when u first started dating, like actually going on dates, or getting butterflies everytime he came to pick up for a date. maybe after studying sociology, all this stuff is actually starting to make sense. lol. im outta here.