2010 Memories

u would think i would have written a lot more by now, especially since i'm on my winter break. there's been a lot of thoughts floating around, as usual. but i can never actually get it down on paper. so 2010 memories was a trending topic that was on twitter. it actually made me think a lot about this whole year, and i definitely couldn't tweet every single memory i had. the first thing i thought about was January. i have a million bdays to celebrate that month. the thing that stood out the most was my baby sister turning 21. i didn't want this day to come. because it would make me look at my own life and realize i'm officially old. i've seen her grown up for the past 21 yrs of her life and it's been amazing. she's always been a baby to me and probably always will be. during that month, i was also dating this one fool. i call him the "stockton boy" cuz that's where he was from. man was that a mess of a relationship. so this guy was the first guy i actually called my bf since my hard breakup in 2007. we were only together for a month. i dont know why i thought i could do another long distance relationship. especially w/ a guy that lives in the same area as my ex. ugh. in that relationship, i felt like i took it seriously and he didn't. we argued so much that it drained the hell out of me. at a certain point i couldn't handle it anymore. it shouldn't be that complicated in the beginning. long story short, at one point, the fool was blowing up my phone, asking me to take him back, and he tells me he loves me. after being w/ me for a month. reminder, all this happened between jan. -feb. of this year. fool is still texting me. can u believe that bs. he texted me on my bday and xmas. seriously man, get the hint. its over. so move on. another memory was me going to vegas. vegas baby! lol. that was definitely a blast. we actually celebrated my friend who lives in the bay area, her bachelorrette party. i can't remember the club we went to. was it surrender? oh my goodness. amazing. and the fellas there? i thought i was in heaven. goodness. it's like an upscale version of myst. azns everywhere. all the azn chicks were all dolled up and shit. gotta admit, they looked really good. what put a damper on the trip, was when me & my best friend got in a fight about something that happened on my bday 3 yrs ago. what pissed me off was that she put my business out there and she waited 3 yrs to tell me she was still upset about it. i understand she was drunk, but the truth definitely came out. we kinda just threw it aside and said let's just forgive and forget but i know it still bothers her. which i can't do anything about it if that's how she feels. i've already apologized for my mistakes. so u can either forgive me and move on or hold a grudge against me forever. ur choice. it kinda makes me think though, because since that year, 3 yrs ago, she has yet to come out w/ me for my bday. anyway, another memory was when i went to visit my homegirl in idaho for 4th of july. very good times there. i always have fun when i'm out w/ her. im really glad that me and her friendship have grown througout the years. i'm glad that she can call me when she wants to talk. and she's more open w/ me. we're total opposites when it comes to guys though. it's pretty funny. can't take that girl anywhere. she reels in the guys and gets us free drinks. another memory was when her & her brother came to visit here. that was some fun times. it's crazy cuz i knew him first for like a million years. then i met her. and that's a whole other story. so my bday this year. i'm at the point in my life already where i seriously hate talking about my age. when people ask me i really don't like telling them. no one ever believes me when i tell em how old i am. i felt horrible on my bday. it was bad enough that people bailed but then i ended up getting wasted because i was so pissed off about it. i was even more upset because i lost like half of my group that night due to my drunkness and i felt horrible about it the next day. i spent two days recovering from it. and realized im too old for this bs. next year, no going out. we're having a bbq at my place. case closed. another memory, my nephew/godson turning 1. it's crazy. cuz i remember the day he was born just a year ago. how he used to sleep in my lap or my chest. i love him so dearly. now he's trying to talk and walking around. and being a bad boy. lol. his bday party was insane. another memory i forgot about. another foolio i dated back in August. i shoulda kept his dumbass around and at least get a bday gift outta him. i bet i woulda got something good too. lol. that sounds horrible. so this fool was pretty much psycho. everything would be going great, and then the next day he would lash out at me and attack me verbally for no reason. calling me selfish, a slut, i dont care about anyone but myself. and some other bs. at one point, i couldn't deal w/ it anymore. he would seriously be yelling at me on the phone and hurt my feelings and wouldn't even give a dam. im sorry, but i'm a calm person. there's no need to be yelling at me for any reason. i remember he would "playfully" say he loved me. and say he didn't mean it. it would happen 3 times. how exactly does that happen accidentally? i seriously dated this guy for like a month and a half or so. who knows. dont really know what's up w/ these guys telling me they love me. it takes a lot for me to love a guy. it's a shame, because he was very cute and i was very into him. but i wasn't down for that drama. school is such a priority right now, that i can't deal w/ all that drama. i can't fuck it up. another huge memory this year? my best friend and her daughter moving away and me moving into my own place. it hit me really hard seeing them leave. i've been friends w/ her for probably 10 yrs now. maybe more. i lived w/ her for almost 2 yrs. it was hard saying goodbye. mainly cuz she's like a sister to me. how can i forget about the joe case and next concert! omg, best bday ever that was. i can't believe i got to see all of them up close and personal. best memory ever!. anyway, i think that's most of the memories from this year. if i could write everything it would take all night. let's see some pics from this year shall we..








so many more pics, but no time to post. 2011 here we come! =)

the worst

i dont really know why, but the other day i was thinking about the worst things a guys has ever said to me. ready?
-yes i was testing you, and you failed.
-i'm turning 21 soon so i'll be going out a lot, and there's a chance i might cheat on you, i dont wanna hurt you.
-me: i love u. him: "........." (silence)
-dont hate the player, hate the game
-you're a fat ass & gay
-you're selfish & mean, & i don't know why i got involved with you.
-after our "first time" him: u slept w/ that many guys? well that's ok, bc this didn't count.
-yea i just wanted to holla at u for sex.
-you should add me on fb because i forgot what you look like.

and people wonder why i have issues trusting guys....