i can't remember how i was feeling or what i was even doing two months ago around this time. probably the same thing i'm doing now. keeping myself pre occupied with work and school. drowning myself in both so i don't have to think about the obvious. which is how lonely have been for the past 9 months now. anyway, it's amazing how much can happen in the past 2 months. around the end of april i went to see my family back in PA. My cousin that i grew up with got married. it was amazing. it's just crazy seeing us both so grown up, her getting married. i can't believe how much time has passed by. it was pretty great seeing all my family again. made me realize how much i miss them. it's very unfortunate that we don't get to see each other often at all. the last time i saw them was maybe 6 or 7 years ago. i always wonder what my life would've been like if i never left there. I always looked up to my cousin. she was my best friend growing up. she's always been really smart and beautiful and now successful.
after i got back, the week after that my best friend came to visit. always a pleasure as usual. i'm so used to talking to her every day and seeing her everyday that i miss her all the time when she's not here. it's definitely not the same. we didn't really get to do much but as usual, i always cherish every time that i get to see her, since it's not often anymore. plus her daughter is a bundle of joy as usual. it's amazing how much she's grown already.
i think about two weeks after that it was her bday and this is so unlike her, but we planned a last minute trip to vegas. and it was pretty awesome. how can vegas not be awesome? =)
so anyway, summer school officially started. that's definitely been a drag. i'm taking this women and health class. and who knew it would be so much work. each week i basically i have about 10 chapters to read, 2 quizzes, a discussion to post, answer 2 discussions, and not to mention she makes us do projects every other week. i forgot how intense summer classes were. i think i only have about 2 and a half more weeks of the class. that's not even the only class i'm taking. i'm trying to stay positive, because i basically need 7 classes to graduate. i'm taking 4 this summer, so u do the math. i literally spend my weekends reading. isn't that entertaining. on another note, my mom sold her house. it was so quick that i don't think it actually hit any of us until the day before they had to move. and i had no idea how upset my mom was about selling it. she sold it because she couldn't handle the mortgage anymore. i never wanted her to sell it in the first place. it's been about 9 years. it was the first house she bought when we moved here. my mom isn't someone who gets emotional at all. until this. it broke my heart seeing how sad she was about it. and worst part is, i couldn't do anything about it. there's no way i could've helped her out w/ the mortgage without drowning in my own debt that i have to pay off. we've tried to stay positive because now's a chance for her to get a better house. the real estate market is insane right now. we've been looking at houses, and we've found some extremely beautiful homes, 3 bed rooms or 4 bedrooms for about 60-70k. if everything goes well hopefully in the next few weeks she'll find something. so recently i had a falling out with one of my home girls. it extremely upset me to a point where i really questioned our friendship. i'm not gonna put the whole situation out there, but let's say she used me in a really bad lie that she told her boyfriend. not only did she use me in the lie, but it was something that made me look extremely bad, and i'm not at all cool about lying to someone. especially something that i am quite against. to make matters worse, her bf texted me asking if what she told him was true. i couldn't even answer him. she's been apologizing like crazy. and i'm not sure what i want to do about yet. on one hand, i want to forgive and forget. because life is short. i might not be here tomorrow and i've been friends with her for about 9 years or so. on the other hand, she was never a friend that i could tell everything to. she's the type of person that's very self absorbed in herself, only talks about herself, doesn't listen and let's just say it's all about her. i've explained to her many times that friendship is a two way street. so i'm undecided now about what to do. anyway, work is going ok. extremely busy as usual. we've finalized the whole thing about merging with this new company. i'm not entirely happy about it. mainly because i've been with my company for about 3 years now. and now we're a new name, new owners, etc. although i'll still have the same boss. but i've been questioning a lot of things. i feel that i don't get paid enough for everything that i do. and i have to also think about my future. i can't get paid this same rate forever. especially when i graduate soon and i have my student loans to think about. but on the other hand, i've never loved a job as much as this one. i really enjoy. and i love working for my bosses. i'm just very unsure about this new company we've merged with. i don't feel secure and it scares me. my 2nd chapter is waiting for me to read... back to work..
after i got back, the week after that my best friend came to visit. always a pleasure as usual. i'm so used to talking to her every day and seeing her everyday that i miss her all the time when she's not here. it's definitely not the same. we didn't really get to do much but as usual, i always cherish every time that i get to see her, since it's not often anymore. plus her daughter is a bundle of joy as usual. it's amazing how much she's grown already.
i think about two weeks after that it was her bday and this is so unlike her, but we planned a last minute trip to vegas. and it was pretty awesome. how can vegas not be awesome? =)
so anyway, summer school officially started. that's definitely been a drag. i'm taking this women and health class. and who knew it would be so much work. each week i basically i have about 10 chapters to read, 2 quizzes, a discussion to post, answer 2 discussions, and not to mention she makes us do projects every other week. i forgot how intense summer classes were. i think i only have about 2 and a half more weeks of the class. that's not even the only class i'm taking. i'm trying to stay positive, because i basically need 7 classes to graduate. i'm taking 4 this summer, so u do the math. i literally spend my weekends reading. isn't that entertaining. on another note, my mom sold her house. it was so quick that i don't think it actually hit any of us until the day before they had to move. and i had no idea how upset my mom was about selling it. she sold it because she couldn't handle the mortgage anymore. i never wanted her to sell it in the first place. it's been about 9 years. it was the first house she bought when we moved here. my mom isn't someone who gets emotional at all. until this. it broke my heart seeing how sad she was about it. and worst part is, i couldn't do anything about it. there's no way i could've helped her out w/ the mortgage without drowning in my own debt that i have to pay off. we've tried to stay positive because now's a chance for her to get a better house. the real estate market is insane right now. we've been looking at houses, and we've found some extremely beautiful homes, 3 bed rooms or 4 bedrooms for about 60-70k. if everything goes well hopefully in the next few weeks she'll find something. so recently i had a falling out with one of my home girls. it extremely upset me to a point where i really questioned our friendship. i'm not gonna put the whole situation out there, but let's say she used me in a really bad lie that she told her boyfriend. not only did she use me in the lie, but it was something that made me look extremely bad, and i'm not at all cool about lying to someone. especially something that i am quite against. to make matters worse, her bf texted me asking if what she told him was true. i couldn't even answer him. she's been apologizing like crazy. and i'm not sure what i want to do about yet. on one hand, i want to forgive and forget. because life is short. i might not be here tomorrow and i've been friends with her for about 9 years or so. on the other hand, she was never a friend that i could tell everything to. she's the type of person that's very self absorbed in herself, only talks about herself, doesn't listen and let's just say it's all about her. i've explained to her many times that friendship is a two way street. so i'm undecided now about what to do. anyway, work is going ok. extremely busy as usual. we've finalized the whole thing about merging with this new company. i'm not entirely happy about it. mainly because i've been with my company for about 3 years now. and now we're a new name, new owners, etc. although i'll still have the same boss. but i've been questioning a lot of things. i feel that i don't get paid enough for everything that i do. and i have to also think about my future. i can't get paid this same rate forever. especially when i graduate soon and i have my student loans to think about. but on the other hand, i've never loved a job as much as this one. i really enjoy. and i love working for my bosses. i'm just very unsure about this new company we've merged with. i don't feel secure and it scares me. my 2nd chapter is waiting for me to read... back to work..
