Thursday, December 13, 2012
Thoughts
I don’t think I’ve written an actual blog since July. As always, there’s a million thoughts running through my mind. Let’s start with work.. it hasn’t been as stressful as before. But I’m kind of at a point where I almost feel stuck. I’m not moving forward and I’m not moving backwards either. I know that’s partly my fault too because it’s not like i’m actually taking any initiative on making anything happen. Right now, all i know is i’m not financially stable and not where i want to be financially at my age. I’m 28 and i still don’t know what to do with my life. I have a few options… First thing is, i need to talk to my bosses asap about my position with the company. I really don’t know why i haven’t done so. I think i feel scared because if they dont tell me what i want to hear then that might lead me to a possibility of starting over. On one end, I’d like to learn the business that i’m in and become a partner eventually with my bosses in the future. And if they agree with that then I want to get started now on learning about the business. On the other hand, there’s also starting my own business. which is even scarier. I feel that i’m good at what i do as far as my job. But in my line of business there’s soooooo much more to learn, so much more that i don’t know to even start this type of business. So financially, i’ve been a little stressed. but i’m not exactly doing anything about it either. On another note, My family temporarily moved in with me last month. Of course my mother sold her house again, which hasn’t even been a year since she’s had it. Her and my grandma are moving into this government housing, which should’ve happened at the end of November which obviously hasn’t. I am not happy with the living situation. Most people who know me, there’s a reason why i moved out of my family’s house and live on my own. Because I LOVE living on my own. So you go from a transition from living on your own for about 3 years to living with ur family again, it’s not exactly easy. They’re driving me crazy. I’m the type of person that when i come home from work, i just want to relax, watch tv and just be on my own. It’s hard to do that when my family is bombarding me w/ questions the minute i walk through the door. Or being able to watch my favorite tv show if everyone’s shouting at each other. Let’s just say i’m not dealing with it well at all, and not sure how much longer this is gonna last.
Last but not least, my love life. =) I’m happy. Which i haven’t been in a very long time. I haven’t felt this way about anyone in so long. My boyfriend and I just celebrated our 6 month anniversary. I know that doesn’t sound long but it is to me. My longest relationship before this was 4 years. Everything in between was just 1 or 2 months. So this is something that i really hope turns into something very serious later down the line. He’s very different from most guys I’ve dated. My friends are always telling me that he keeps me on my toes. Whatever that means. lol. We don’t live in the same city. And that’s what kills me. We live about an hour and a half away from each other. I know that doesn’t sound that far. But with our schedules we only get to see each other on the weekends. It’s a good and bad thing. Bad, because i miss him. Like crazy. Good because i want us to both have our own space and our own separate lives as well. We’ve have some bumps along the road, but in the end, he’s the one that i want to be with. My feelings are growing for him everyday i’m with him. And i’ve never cared this much about anyone besides my ex. And i feel like i’m at that next stage in our relationship. If u know what i mean. lol. we haven’t exactly said it to each other. And i think i’m scared. maybe he is too, or he’s waiting for me to say it first, who really knows. But i think my fear is that he doesn’t feel the same way or won’t say it back. But i guess that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care about me or won’t say it later down the line. I have so much more to say… but i’m getting tired…
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Highlights 11/30-12/2 &12/7-12/9
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